Growing Pains and Shiny Shackles

There is an interesting phenomenon that I have observed many times in both my own life and others. There is comfort in stunting our growth by allowing ourselves to be weighed down, clouded, and distracted.  It seems counterintuitive that one might create strife in drama in their own lives as an avoidance of pain, but as H.P. Lovecraft spoke of 'there is no greater fear than that of the unknown'. The unknown that is our own potential, our unimpeded power, is an often overlooked shortcoming for many men.

There lies a primal, carnal, masculine beast within us that most of us are unwilling to face head on. In facing and harnessing the power of this feral beast we weild potential to thrust our wills upon the world that might move mountains but with great power comes great responsibility and a death of innocence that allows us to hide in a conveinient victim narrative that places us in the passenger seat of our lives.

Stasis, crippling anxiety, depression and become familiar comforts, safety blankets. We get caught in webs of endless planning and dreaming, which give a illusionary sense of action. Our mind becomes a viscous swamp murk that thickens around our steps, which we may relish in the drama and anguish, weaving melodramatic stories and complaining about but each step. This is a swamp of our own making that allows us safety in our measured and weighted steps. Cutting weight in the form of drama or the numbing substances and abandoning those false friends, family or other influences that consistently take the form of time wasting vampires and energetic parasites, makes movement almost too effortless as the landscapes fly by in a blur.

They say misery loves company... they also say that energy moves from higher energy areas into that of lower areas until a common equilibrium is met at the expense of the more abundantenergetic body. ...Like crabs in a bucket reaching for the rim only to be pulled down by the others at the bottom... This requires us to be unmercifully invested in our preservation of our will ( power, energy ) so that our magick, our action, can be violent and swift. 

Gotama Buddha said that all life is suffering, or dissatisfying. When we come to know this on a subconscious level we often begin to shoot ourselves in the foot so that we might hold on to abstract romantic hopes and dreams in an attempt to not taint it with action that might manifest those things into material matter and therefore by it's very nature, as light gives it form before our sight, the first cracks begin to appear. If the fruits of our labors are consistently less sweet and satisfying as we imagine,  why contort ourselves in an effort if achieve any goal at all?!
It is for this reason that it is a mistake to become too attached to our accomplishments, our finished product, but we must learn to be engaged in the work, the learning, the process and the path. There is truth to be found in the action, honest, genuineness that is otherwise impossible.


'You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you're a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal.' -Henry Rollins.


This is the true essence of the magick of the eternal present moment, the now! of our lives. Enlightenment is an action in progress, not a destination. The grass may be greener in the other side every-damn-time, but I have come to enjoy jumping higher and higher fences.


"You know I'm bad, the times I've had. I've got a bad reputation. I don't care, I get my share. Don't feel no deprivation, I don't.

The more I get the better it is. I like it fine, like a little whiz. Treat 'em like ladies, that's a fact. You know the chase is better than the catch, you know.

Silver-tongued devil, demon lech. I know just what I'm doing. I like a little innocent bitch. You know I ain't just screwing, I ain't.

I love you baby, love you too much
I like it fine, I feel your touch.
But your appearance don't hold no class.
You know the chase is better than the catch, you know.'